The Dark Side of Living in the Light
Catchy title, right? Not wishing to be dramatic here. Just telling it like it is.
For some people, living in “the light” means being of a higher vibration and seeing that vibration in all of existence. That is beautiful, amazing and wonderful. It is possible to find your Zen and look at life from the higher perspective and realize that no matter what happens in the lifetime, you are a soul with a continuous stream of existence.
For other people, they find their spirituality within the light by adapting belief systems and practices that allow them to feel closer to their higher power. This too, is an incredible way of life.
And still others take on roles as light workers, healers, ministers and such to help people open up to their light, to empower them to embrace their spirit and their strength. Many of these Spiritual teachers and leaders teach that we are of a vibration now where darkness no longer exists, while others will pound the reality of evil into the forefront of their teachings to elicit fear.
So where is reality in all this?
I believe we create our own reality through our perspective. If you believe that we are living in a higher dimension right now where no dark energies can be present, then that is your reality. If you believe you have to adhere to certain rules and rituals because the devil waits for you around each corner, then that is your truth.
I never really believed in curses or spells. Sure, I liked to play witch when I was a little girl and was known to play with candles when I wasn’t supposed to. I was drawn to ancient Egyptian texts at a young age and marveled at their rites and incantations used in ceremony. I thought it magical. I respected their devotion to their faith. But that, honestly, was about it.
Then began my studies in Native American Shamanism. I was part of ceremonial practices and could feel Spirit and energy all around me. It wasn’t a spell. I wasn’t directing negativity to anyone. It was beautiful, engaging, entrancing and LIGHT! The connection made my heart sing.
As I dug deeper into my spiritual learning, I still held a disregard for curses, believing that only those in a state of fear and adhering to a particular belief system could be affected by such things. I gave this practice no power whatsoever. Even when my teachers would explain about psychic warfare and how to combat it, I would go to my happy place in my mind. Those things had nothing to do with me. They were for other people, not as “light” as me of course, to deal with in their reality.
And then I got my first attachment. It hit me hard. I was depleted, mentally, physically, emotionally and definitely spiritually. I thought I was losing my mind. I couldn’t concentrate, didn’t want to move and definitely felt like leaving this life would be the best choice I could make. Thankfully, I turned to a trusted teacher and Shaman for help. I thought it was something purely physical or perhaps I pulled something in from a client.
As I spoke to my Elder, he connected with my energy. I could see him going into trance and taking inventory of my field. Within moments he told me each physical symptom I was having, the negative thoughts I’d been experiencing as well as visions of a man I’d been working with. He went on further to explain to me that this man had placed a negative entity into my energy field to weaken me and cause me harm.
I was dumbfounded. Why would anyone want to do that? I was very Pollyannaish about being of the light. I thought as long as I did my light work I got a free pass on negativity.
Ummmm….NO! Even as I write that statement I cringe. And I laugh.
My wonderful teacher explained to me the importance of boundaries – physical, emotional and energetic. He also enforced and reiterated the tools I had been taught but not practicing myself in regards to clearing and dealing with negative energies directed to cause and inflict harm.
My mind and heart went into fear. Was I so weak that I allowed this person to harm me? What would happen next time? Why didn’t my guides let me know? How can I be intuitive and not know this?
I saw the eyes of my teacher begin to sparkle and a smile paint across his compassionate face. “What did you learn?” He asked. “What gifts were you given? And Honey, if you expect your guides to give you ALL the answers you are barking up the wrong tree. If they gave you all the answers why would you be here? You would stay on the other side.”
I sat with that. Long and hard I sat with that. I began to realize that life is a learning curve. Each experience gifts us an opportunity to discover something new.
Doing this work for going on 20 years now, I’ve witnessed and experienced more than my share of light and dark. I believe we can’t have one without the other – not on this Earth plane. We come here to experience both and to learn from each. And then we have a choice. Which will we allow to be the driving force in our life, good or evil?
Yes, there are curses, spells, negative entities, demons, dark dimensional beings, psychic attacks and other creepy crawlies in existence. But that doesn’t mean we have to bury our heads in the sand or hide under the covers. Knowledge, as they say, is power. There are tools to deter each of these scenarios and just because something is out there doesn’t mean you will experience it.
Every bad thing that happens in your life isn’t because of a curse or some sorcerer conjuring black magic. Take responsibility for your life, meaning – your BODY, your MIND and your ENERGY. When all are in good working order with proper boundaries in place, no darkness can come through.
Spring Cleaning: Mind, Body and Soul
The Season of Spring is here! So often that entails clearing and cleaning those routine things, or even perhaps those issues we’ve been avoiding.
My personal cleaning and clearing began with me taking a hard look and evaluating my physical self. For much of my life I have ignored the signs and messages my body has given me and chose to push forward, masking these needs and instead traveling to an etheric playground where things like pain and suffering do not exist.
As I took inventory of the false beliefs I’d come to instill within my core self, I began to put the puzzle pieces together. So much of my ideals and underlying struggle still remained in lessons I was taught as a child.
My mother was, and still very much remains, what I like to lovingly call a pill whore. Yes, I know that sounds cold and callous, but I deal with this with my sarcasm. It’s a tool I use quite frequently. When I would have a headache, I was given a pill to cure it. When I had to have my first gynecological exam at the age of 12, I was given a valium to deal with it. When I had menstrual cramps at 13, codeine became my best friend.
I was taught that whenever you received a prescription medication, make sure to refill it, even if you didn’t really need it, because chances are you’d be sick again in the near future, or someone in the family would be, and we would need that medicine. I began doling out Mom’s meds to her by the time I was six, which was a constant combination of uppers, downers, pain killers and so forth. Drugs were plain and simple, a way of life. This is how you dealt with things.
Fast forward to present day and I find myself plagued with symptoms of low energy level, headaches, heart palpitations, hair loss, inflammation, low metabolism, and achiness over my entire body. Regular medication is not working. I intuitively know my thyroid is out of balance, even though I am on a natural medication to assist this problem. My MD feels I fall within the “normal range” of things, and that my medication does not need to be increased.
Clarification – I’ve never been normal. Let’s just make that clear.
So, for once, I decided to LISTEN to my body. I allowed myself to feel all the different things that didn’t feel right. I didn’t take a pill or an Advil to get me through it. I just sat with the feelings, searching for emotional sensations and reactions.
Through this process, I knew I needed to do something, and something drastic to try and shock my system back into balance. I looked at my poor diet and knew it needed to start there. So I began to go cold turkey – no more gluten, dairy, sugar or caffeine. The first few days were a complete blur, as I moved through the detox symptoms. It wasn’t easy and sure was not pretty.
But after a week, I began to notice something. My joints weren’t hurting. My face wasn’t puffy, the swelling in my legs and feet had vanished and quite interestingly enough, I did not have the recurrent headaches. I began exercising daily, moving my body and increasing my water intake.
I also rediscovered the wonderful gift of daily meditation. Each morning, I would take quiet time for me and go into a healing trance, calling in my Spiritual Support Team and asking for their assistance in clearing away that which I needed to let go of. I would concentrate on bringing in a higher vibration to repair damage caused within the body and then I would fill the void with light.
Then began another part of the clearing.
I opened up my medicine cabinet one morning and saw the truth staring back at me. Here were bottles and bottles of unused prescription drugs I was no longer taking. I opened drawers and found more and more bottles – my “just in case” stash that I’d accumulated from various aches and pains. Some had never even been used or opened, because I refused to take them. I began the process of removing all the drugs from my stash, and realized I was building a large mound of prescription bottles. By the time I’d cleaned out my drawers, I had 32 prescriptions. These were an accumulation over the last four years, from when my health had various ups and downs.
I was shocked when I saw the pile of bottles. They had been hidden inside my drawers and medicine cabinet, hardly ever seeing the light of day, just like so many of the aches and pains I had stored in my body.
I correctly disposed of the meds, and thought about this clearing process. By trashing these pills I’d been hanging onto because of a pattern I’d acquired since childhood, I let go of all that stagnant energy. I realized that when I listen to my body when it is trying to tell me something, I can usually figure out what it is I need to do. Most times it’s an easy fix, some deep breathing, a glass of water, stretching, a walk or maybe I need to express something I’ve been holding back. I am finally really grasping the lesson of self-coping and being present.
I understand that prescription medications have their place in this world, and they have saved countless lives. But I also believe they are harshly overused and severely abused within our society. There is never a magic button to push or a magic pill to swallow that makes everything better.
Finally, at the ripe old age of 44, I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin. I am listening to my body now as much as I do to my spirit. For me, that is a huge change and one that I am deeply embracing on every level.
It’s a beautiful gift when we can appreciate the wonder and blessings that exist right inside us. They’ve always been there. Sometimes we just ignore them or perhaps were never shown how to find them in the first place.
It’s never too late to start exploring….go ahead. Have fun with it!
I am looking forward to continuing on in the blessed energy of springtime, holding onto the vibrations of rebirth and resurrection.
Angel Blessings to you,
Coming Full Circle
The Universe has many gifts to reveal. We need only allow our hearts and our minds open to receive them.
Earlier this week I had the amazing opportunity to give a distance energy session to someone who had never experienced Reiki or any other form of energy work. I know his family, and his sister had mentioned she felt some heavy energies around him and encouraged him to have a session. When I spoke to him, I could tell he was a bit hesitant and skeptical, and lets just face it, who really wouldn’t be, but he was still open to the process. I asked him to relax and lay down and explained I would call him back in thirty minutes when our session was complete.
I tapped into his energy and could feel a heaviness around him. I began to clear the dense energies from his field, but still felt the imbalance of another presence. My instinct took me closer to the energetic soul field and there I could see not one, but two souls sharing the same physical space. I have seen this before when spirits who have passed within the physical become confused or traumatized and instead of completely crossing over, they attach to the energy of another person. As I sensed the spirit, my chest became constricted and tight, as if I were having an asthma attack. I called in the Arch Angel Gabriel and began working with this Spirit to cross, explaining to him that he was needed on the other side and that his energy was better suited there. I could tell that the Spirit was that of a child, a boy, but I did not resonate on a certain age, nor dig deeper for more details as it was most important to me to detach him from my client, as well as free the Spirit himself.
As his energy crossed through Gabriel’s beautiful tunnel of light to the other side, I could feel the flow of energy return to my client. This was his own energy grounding back into his body, where for such a long time it had been hindered by the existence of the other soul. I sensed the confusion my client has felt, not knowing about this attachment on a conscious level, but feeling the effects from it all the same. Imagine carrying someone else’s energy around with you for years. Not only is it draining, but it is also emotionally overwhelming. Sometimes you wonder if your thoughts are your own or what drives you to make the decisions that you do.
There was no ill will meant by the Spirit that attached to him. The Spirit saw my client as amazingly brilliant. He saw the light and the heart of my client and wanted to be everything that he was. He had made a connection with him during his life in the physical and wanted it to continue. Though this Spirit passed without physical pain, there was confusion with the passing. He felt he had not finished the work he came here to do nor completed his purpose. He also did not want to leave behind this connection he had to my client.
I sensed the attachment took place around the time when my client was 7-8 years of age. I was not clear of who the Spirit was, and I was more concerned with continuing the clearing of my client’s energy. Working with each chakra center, I assisted with release and clearing so that no traces of the attachment were left. His energy felt much lighter and brighter when the session was complete.
I phoned him to explain what I picked up on during the session. I have to admit, it was not easy for me to give him this information. I did not want to freak him out, yet in being true to the experience and to my own intuition, I conveyed what had come through in the session. There was not much response from him, but I could also tell that he was coming out of his trance like state from the session. One thing I have learned in all the years I’ve been doing this is not to put my own personal expectation onto anyone else’s session. Each person absorbs and feels the energy differently. Some go to sleep, some feel me working on them, and some feel nothing. It’s all good, because the person gets exactly what THEY need.
We spoke for a few minutes and I told him if he had any questions he could contact me. Soon afterwards I received an email from him stating that his parents had a baby around the time he was 7-8 years old that had not lived very long. This was also around the time he had asthma. He was wondering if the passing of his brother was connected.
This rocked me to my core. I was at his brother’s funeral, over twenty years ago. I remember seeing him, my client, going up to the casket. I had seen flashes of this while I was working on him, but I did not want to bring that forward as I did not want to cause him any pain. We chatted about a few other details online, and I could feel the love that his brother had for him. What a beautiful gift my client had given his brother by opening himself up in order for his brother to cross over.
It was one of those full circle moments for me. To bear witness to such a beautiful miracle brought me to tears, and also allowed me to go to a deeper state of release for my own grief I’ve been carrying for the loss of my father a few months ago.
There are no coincidences in this life. Gifts are all around us if we choose to see them.
Love has no barriers, no matter where you exist.