The Dark Side of Living in the Light

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The Dark Side of Living in the Light

Catchy title, right?  Not wishing to be dramatic here.  Just telling it like it is.

For some people, living in “the light” means being of a higher vibration and seeing that vibration in all of existence.  That is beautiful, amazing and wonderful.  It is possible to find your Zen and look at life from the higher perspective and realize that no matter what happens in the lifetime, you are a soul with a continuous stream of existence.

For other people, they find their spirituality within the light by adapting belief systems and practices that allow them to feel closer to their higher power.  This too, is an incredible way of life.

And still others take on roles as light workers, healers, ministers and such to help people open up to their light, to empower them to embrace their spirit and their strength.  Many of these Spiritual teachers and leaders teach that we are of a vibration now where darkness no longer exists, while others will pound the reality of evil into the forefront of their teachings to elicit fear.

So where is reality in all this?

I believe we create our own reality through our perspective.  If you believe that we are living in a higher dimension right now where no dark energies can be present, then that is your reality.  If you believe you have to adhere to certain rules and rituals because the devil waits for you around each corner, then that is your truth.

I never really believed in curses or spells.  Sure, I liked to play witch when I was a little girl and was known to play with candles when I wasn’t supposed to.  I was drawn to ancient Egyptian texts at a young age and marveled at their rites and incantations used in ceremony.  I thought it magical.  I respected their devotion to their faith.  But that, honestly, was about it.

Then began my studies in Native American Shamanism.  I was part of ceremonial practices and could feel Spirit and energy all around me.  It wasn’t a spell.  I wasn’t directing negativity to anyone.  It was beautiful, engaging, entrancing and LIGHT!  The connection made my heart sing.

As I dug deeper into my spiritual learning, I still held a disregard for curses, believing that only those in a state of fear and adhering to a particular belief system could be affected by such things.  I gave this practice no power whatsoever.  Even when my teachers would explain about psychic warfare and how to combat it, I would go to my happy place in my mind.  Those things had nothing to do with me.  They were for other people, not as “light” as me of course, to deal with in their reality.

And then I got my first attachment.  It hit me hard.  I was depleted, mentally, physically, emotionally and definitely spiritually.  I thought I was losing my mind.  I couldn’t concentrate, didn’t want to move and definitely felt like leaving this life would be the best choice I could make.  Thankfully, I turned to a trusted teacher and Shaman for help.  I thought it was something purely physical or perhaps I pulled something in from a client.

As I spoke to my Elder, he connected with my energy.  I could see him going into trance and taking inventory of my field.  Within moments he told me each physical symptom I was having, the negative thoughts I’d been experiencing as well as visions of a man I’d been working with.  He went on further to explain to me that this man had placed a negative entity into my energy field to weaken me and cause me harm.

I was dumbfounded.  Why would anyone want to do that?  I was very Pollyannaish about being of the light.  I thought as long as I did my light work I got a free pass on negativity.

Ummmm….NO!  Even as I write that statement I cringe.  And I laugh.

My wonderful teacher explained to me the importance of boundaries – physical, emotional and energetic.  He also enforced and reiterated the tools I had been taught but not practicing myself in regards to clearing and dealing with negative energies directed to cause and inflict harm.

My mind and heart went into fear.  Was I so weak that I allowed this person to harm me?  What would happen next time?  Why didn’t my guides let me know?  How can I be intuitive and not know this?

I saw the eyes of my teacher begin to sparkle and a smile paint across his compassionate face.  “What did you learn?”  He asked.  “What gifts were you given?  And Honey, if you expect your guides to give you ALL the answers you are barking up the wrong tree.  If they gave you all the answers why would you be here?  You would stay on the other side.”

I sat with that.  Long and hard I sat with that.  I began to realize that life is a learning curve.  Each experience gifts us an opportunity to discover something new.

Doing this work for going on 20 years now, I’ve witnessed and experienced more than my share of light and dark.  I believe we can’t have one without the other – not on this Earth plane.  We come here to experience both and to learn from each.  And then we have a choice.  Which will we allow to be the driving force in our life, good or evil?

Yes, there are curses, spells, negative entities, demons, dark dimensional beings, psychic attacks and other creepy crawlies in existence.  But that doesn’t mean we have to bury our heads in the sand or hide under the covers.  Knowledge, as they say, is power.  There are tools to deter each of these scenarios and just because something is out there doesn’t mean you will experience it.

Every bad thing that happens in your life isn’t because of a curse or some sorcerer conjuring black magic.  Take responsibility for your life, meaning – your BODY, your MIND and your ENERGY. When all are in good working order with proper boundaries in place, no darkness can come through.

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Great Expectations…

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Great Expectations

Where are our expectations?  How much time do we use expecting something to happen?  Someone to react in a certain way?  A situation to turn around to our liking?

The very definition of expectation is: the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.

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So is expectation then a positive or a negative force?  That is for each individual to decide on their own.  I, however, got a big dose of discernment on this subject within the last few days.  What I realized about my expectations was that they were not serving my higher purpose.  Allow me to explain.

My daughter, Alexis, turned 17 years old yesterday.  We are in that stage of our mother/daughter relationship where she is fighting to assert her independence and I am struggling to maintain healthy boundaries for her.  Welcome to the life of parenting a teenager!  Yes, I was one of them….once, and a very long, long time ago.

We wanted to do something special for Alexis and enlisted one of her good friends to plan a surprise party for her.  Lots of planning, sneaking and shopping went into getting all the details just right for the big surprise.  We all waited in anticipation for Alexis to walk through the door of the clubhouse so we could rush out and welcome her into her special celebration.  She was surprised, no doubt, and went around the room hugging each of her friends and thanking them for being there.  I waited for my turn, so happy that we’d pulled off the big secret, which was my idea after all.

Alexis came over to where I was and I waited for the biggest mommy/daughter hug ever.  Instead, what I got was, “Are you staying?”

I was crushed!  I had put so much time and effort into all this.  How selfish she was!  Couldn’t she understand?  I was hurt in the very place in my heart that had motivated me to create such an experience for her.  I foolishly mumbled something to her about what a way to say thank you and drifted back into the sidelines inside the kitchen, which is where I planned to stay for the majority of the evening anyway.

I began to let these feelings stew inside me, not realizing they were triggering so much more than just a simple remark.  All those doubts, non-acceptance, and unworthiness began to bubble up to the surface.  So much emotion came forward.  When I reached a quiet time, within the following days, I asked for assistance from my guides.

“What did you honestly expect?  Did you expect a 17-year-old girl to put your feelings first?  You know she appreciated it.  For her to show you accolades in front of her friends is not her personality style.  You know this.  Why allow your feelings to be hurt over something that is not out of the norm?

What was your motivation in creating this evening for her?  Was it with the intention that you would be awarded a prize?  Did you want acknowledgement from her and her circle of friends as to what a wonderful mother you are?  If this is the case, then it is indeed time you look closely at your actions, Dear One.  I feel that you did this to make your daughter happy, plain and simple.  It was to alleviate some of the sadness that has come up recently and the party was to make her feel special and surround her with friends.  Was that not your motivation?  And did you not succeed?  Could you see she was having a wonderful time?”

Those words sunk in deep.  Wow….why was I reacting so strongly to this?

“You react in this fashion, my dear, because you expect from others all those things you want to feel for yourself.  When instead, you can really only place expectations on yourself and no one else.  To anticipate how another person will react is in reality trying to control the outcome of a situation.  Can you see this?  And indeed, in many instances expectation can be a form of self sabotage.  For if the person or situation does not meet your expectation, then you can justify all those false beliefs and fears that hide away in the recesses of your ego mind.  This is why all those other feelings you’ve been experiencing have come to the surface.”

This all made so much sense to me.  It was as if a light bulb suddenly clicked on.

“You cannot set an intention for someone else.  You can only control yourself and your own circumstance.  This is not to say that you should allow anyone to treat you with disrespect, for that is something entirely different – that is setting a boundary of what you will and will not accept.  Your expectations should only be directed at yourself and how you intend to act, feel and react.  Look at your motivations and base them solely on your own behaviors and intentions.  Your intention in this instance was to make a wonderful evening for your darling daughter.  And this came to fruition, did it not?  If you base your actions in expectation of how someone else will react or treat you, then your intention is not coming from the highest and purest vibration.  Many times, it is easy to fall into the trap and pattern of always wanting something in return.  But to merely accept your actions and intentions as positive and release the reaction  and expectation of others is to truly be in a place of peace and balance.  You do not require anyone’s approval but your own.

See this only as the lesson that it is.  Feel not failure or judgment about it.  You’ve learned and you’ve grown.  This is was all experiences bring to your life.  It is all good.”

With those words I was left with an incredible feeling of lightness within my heart.  It felt literally like a weight had been taken from my body.  The heaviness of confusion and self-criticism left my being.  I was in a state of peace.

I’ve learned to let go of the expectation of what and how I think other people in my life should react to my own actions.  This is a freedom I have not felt before, except perhaps when I was a very small child.  It is a place of adaptation and acceptance.  It is a freedom to be in the flow of life moment to moment.

Great expectations I only place upon myself and in doing so I receive the greatest gift of all.

Acceptance, Warts and All

Acceptance, Warts and All

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  I’ve been looking through so many pictures over the last few weeks, reminiscing about years gone by.  My husband and I will share our 21st anniversary Friday and I guess that has put me in the mood for memory review.  I look at our pictures together throughout our entire 26 years of being a couple, and see the vast changes in both of us.  

I’m not just talking about the grey hairs, the extra pounds or the wrinkles.  I’m speaking of the differences in our energies, our beliefs, our goals and our relationship.  There’s been plenty of ups and downs; times when I didn’t know if I could stand any more happiness and others when I couldn’t see it at all.  We’ve grown up together, matured together and now at this point in our lives we fully support one another.  

As I think of our relationship, I think of what was really the driving force in our successes and our downfalls.  The love was always present, even when we were distant with one another.  I dig deeper and I find that the relationship we have with ourselves is truly the driving force on both sides of the spectrum.

When I am feeling positive about who I am and the direction I am taking, that energy rubs off on everyone around me.  When I feel pain or restriction I am on the defensive and that vibration also carries out to those within my field.  As we grow through our lessons and boundaries we move to different levels of energetics, some agree with those around us and some do not.  I believe the strongest emotion out there and the most healing is truly unconditional love.  Knowing that you love someone no matter what and accepting them with all their good and bad qualities.  

Isn’t that what life is about ?  Acceptance?  Changing what you can within yourself and accepting what you cannot?  When someone or something around you gets on your last nerve, instead of becoming angry or frustrated, try shifting your perspective.  Look at the situation with compassion.  Imagine that your best friend was relaying the situation to you.  What would your advice be?  

I remember a time in my life when I was really struggling with a betrayal.  As I spoke about it for the hundredth time to a colleague he helped me change my perspective with a simple phrase.  He said, “And can you see this person as just another struggling human being, trying to find their way?”  With those words I was able to shift my thinking to compassion and acceptance.  It brought my way of thought to removing myself from the action, not taking it personally and realizing that the betrayal was all this person’s “stuff” and I really had nothing to do with it.  It still affected me, yes.  I was still angry about it, damn straight.  BUT, I also realized on a human level that we are all finding our way, sometimes through mistakes.  The lesson was a painful one, but by shifting my perspective I was able to see the gift within the experience; I moved to a deeper level of unconditional love of self and compassion for others.

The energy of this world continues to rise on a faster rate with each moment.  Our emotions are now expressed and felt on deeper levels.  When you are in the midst of something that is bringing you down, take a breath and ask yourself why this is happening and what you are allowing.  What can you change about that and what can you accept?  The choice is yours.  

The more we struggle with issues and people, the deeper these issues become.  Look for the lesson, the gift and the spark of God within each situation and allow that energy to shift your feelings from one of struggle to one of acceptance.  It is not an easy dance to do, but with practice you can move through it gracefully.  

I am forever grateful to my husband for teaching me so many things over the years.  Tim has accepted me, and all my woo-wooness, even when he doesn’t understand.  He has pointed the mirror to me when I needed a harsh reality check, held my hand, made me laugh and stood by drying bucket loads of tears.  Through his love for me, I have come to a deeper love of self and finally learned to accept myself just as I am, warts and all.

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Allow yourself the freedom of acceptance.  Change what you can and accept others for what they are.

Love & Laughter, 

Danielle

 

BIG CONGRATULATIONS TO DIANE NOLAN!!!  Diane won the drawing for the book and channeled message.  Thanks to everyone who participated.