Making Space for Emotions – A Do It Yourself Guide for Healing Your Emotions.
I would like to introduce you to Irene Langeveld, my first ever GUEST BLOGGER. Irene is a dear friend and gifted healer. I think you will enjoy her views on Making Space for Emotions.
– by Irene Langeveld
Emotions are some of the most beautiful AND challenging aspects of living life as a human. I believe that it is very important to acknowledge and feel your emotions, all of them. There is no point in denying or neglecting challenging emotions because when you do that, they will hit you again at a later time. And when they do, they might hit you even harder than before.
Emotions have a purpose. The can teach us. They can help us heal traumatic experiences from the past. They can help us release what no longer serves us. They can help us make different choices.
When you want to heal difficult experiences and let go of challenging emotions, it is important find a balance between feeling the emotions and making sure that you keep moving forward and don’t get stuck in the emotions. In order to find that balance, I always advise to work with the emotions that come up in the now moment. There is no need to go look for the emotions. They will show themselves in the right time.
Maybe you suddenly find yourself in a situation that reminds you of a traumatic situation earlier in your life. This can bring up intense emotions and reactions. The gift of the current situation is that it helps you heal your past by bringing to the surface the emotions that you haven’t released yet. It is an opportunity to look deeper and do your healing work. After you’ve cleared the emotions that came up you will be able to move on with greater ease and clarity.
Sometimes the emotions that need to be healed don’t show themselves completely at first sight. It can feel like they are present somewhere in the background, causing you to not feel completely well. It is only when you take the time to look at them and bring them to the forefront that they really show themselves.
In my life, this usually shows as a general feeling of not feeling 100%. I’m not unhappy, but I’m not happy either. Often I don’t feel motivated to do things or I’m not focused. In those situations I now know that there is something for me to look at in the emotional realm. After I’ve done my inner work I usually feel much better.
This process of inner exploration is what I’m going to share with you here. It will help you get clarity on what you’re working with, go to the core and release the emotion. Here we go:
The first step in this process is to be aware that there actually IS an emotion to work with. This may sound silly but if you keep running around with this nagging feeling in the background and don’t pay attention, nothing will move. It might take some time for you to find your personal signals that show you that you have something to look at.
After you’ve noticed or suspected that there are emotions asking to be healed, then you need to be willing to take your time to look at that emotion and to help it shift. There are several ways you can do that.
Sometimes it is enough to just be quiet and take a few deep breaths. The stillness and breathing might bring up the emotion. Just keep breathing with whatever you are feeling. Focusing on your breath will help you stay in the here and now.
The emotion might get stronger when you actually sit down and pay attention, and that is perfect. It shows that it is moving. You will feel much better after you’ve allowed that wave of emotion to flow through you. When it can flow through you it can then leave you.
If you feel tension in a specific part of your body you can imagine that you breathe towards that place. That will help ease the tension. You’re not pushing anything out, you are just allowing everything to be as it is and allowing it to move through you.
Sometimes just being with whatever is present in you is all that is needed. Other times, you might need to go deeper.
When I feel that the emotion isn’t moving I know I need to dive deeper and see if there is something for me to learn or to know about the emotion. When that happens I usually start a conversation with myself. Speaking the words out loud forces me to formulate the words and get specific. Here are some suggestions for questions you can ask yourself to get to the core of the emotion.
When you’re feeling anxious or fearful, you can ask yourself:
“What am I afraid of?” “What would happen if this situation that I’m afraid of arises?” “Why is that so bad?” Keep asking the why-questions until you feel you are at the core. Breathe with all the feelings that might come up during this process. Breathing allows everything to shift. You are clearing the fear in this way. When you are at the core of your fear, you will usually feel it or have a knowing that ‘this is it’.
When you’re feeling angry, you might ask yourself:
“Why am I angry?” “What do I think I need from the other and why? “Do I feel I am not being seen, valued or acknowledged?” “Why is that so bad?” “do I feel threatened and why?” “What does this situation remind me of?”
Some people feel sadness where other people feel anger. This might have to do with how much you have been allowed to feel anger in your life. If you were never allowed to be angry, you could have developed a pattern where you feel sad instead of angry. If that is the case you can use the questions about anger on your sadness.
Sadness doesn’t always need to be crystal clear. Sometimes when you’re feeling sad, just the allowing of that feeling is what is needed. Grief needs to be felt more than analysed.
Beneath anger is often a fear. Fear of being rejected or misunderstood, fear of not being safe, fear of not being taken care of, etcetera. If you notice this, continue with the questions about fear and anxiety and keep breathing with everything that comes up. This is deep healing work that you’re doing and it is important to acknowledge that.
And that brings me to my final point: When you’ve done your healing work like this, make sure you take really good care of yourself. You deserve it! Take a bit of rest or do something that makes you smile if that’s possible. Be proud of yourself and be gentle with yourself the rest of the day.
About Irene Langeveld
Irene Langeveld is an intuitive coach & speaker dedicated to helping people live a joyful, heart-centered life. She offers coaching and online courses on heart-centered living, intuitive development and emotional re- balancing. Her passion is to integrate the higher energies into her everyday experiences and to help others do the same.
If you’d like to get a taste of Irene’s work and her heartfelt meditations, watch her free video & meditation series on Heart Centered Living on her website: www.IreneLangeveld.com
You can also listen to Irene’s free grounding meditation to balance and center yourself: www.IreneLangeveld.com/grounding-meditation/